I was offered better sex on my way into Tescos. Obviously 1 was interested. I stumped up my £2.25. But, predictably, 1 was left less than satisfied with the result.
The magazine that promised 'Better sex than you deof new magazines dealing with men's health.
While women's health magazines have been around for years, almost all of them focused obsessively on issues of diet and slimness. emerged relatively recently. centring much more on "performance' - and the selling of a range of sporty toys for the boys.
Fitness rather than fatness is the niche they have spot. ted in the market, but the target audience appears to include men who prefer to let their wallet to the work.
Not many men wil able or willing to match up to the knackering routines suggested to hone their sapging torsos into the lithe, athphotos. According to the latest survey just 30 percent of low their ideal weight - suggesting that in the battle of nands down. new, healthy super-knickers XL magazine is up-front - at a mere £30 per pair! about the varying level of The mags are glossy, col. mca s commincot to vosing weight. It offers three levels ticles designed to tempt the of exercises: "No messing sad and unwary. about"; "Gently does it", and Of course sex sells maga'Can't be arsed' - with exer- zines, even when it is only cises that could be done while watching the telly. through, Men's Health fell A survey of readers of open at page 20, where the Men's Health magazine, a headline "Improve your posisection of the male popula- tion on the job' tumed out, tion most aware of health disappointingly, to deal with and fitness issues, showed adjusting your chair while using a computer. visit a fitness centre, while It's not the only disap51 percent said they exer- pointment. The August-Sep. cised at least three times tember issue of Men's mean, rescarenco espe The new mags cash in on cially for this article, prommen's insecurity and aspira- ised a tantalising feature on tions, and rehearse some sen- Great Sex: 20 ways to per. sible injunctions not to fect your style'. But this gutsmoke, drink soo much, of ico punter found that there 1s cat fatty food - while they no such article: instead there market consolation prizes to chi quack remcoses for baldof a predictable range of af- ness, and a depressingly tershaves, cars, sunglasses. psychological article on how watches as well as designer sportsware. on the first date.
The headline article in Adverts Men's Health which trigAdverts for heart rate gered this investigation, ofmonitors (169,99 to {299.99) remind us that ex- title "All Night Long", and the bold assertion that Men ercise can kill. Men are who work out regularly reurged to sock BUPA health port increased libidos". conscreens (£342!) while feasisted of a few suggestive tures compare acrobic cycles (E 185 to £1,999.) publicise monochrome photographs accompanying an exhausta new £3,500 mountain Wing routine of exercises Men who work out mod. crately and regularly report increased libidos, more satis. fying sex and fewer erectile failures," claims an expert.
Whew! Pretty hot stuff! So what are the facts?
We are told that "in a study 78 men followed a moderate aerobic programme [a staggering four times a week! for ninc months. At the end of this • the results were ambiguous "the men reported their rate of sexual intercourse nad leaped an average of 30 per. cent, with 26 percent more orgasms. All mercasco 10quency of masturbation was also recorded."
But all this raises a series of unanswered questions. How sexually active were tnese men actorchand: HOW many "erectile failures" did they have? Is this why they of exercise? Did their obsessive physical jerks lead to the departure of bored partners, triggering the rise in masturbation?
Casualties
Indeed the same article confesses that, as many of us suspected, the super-fit are no hornier than us ordinary fat folk: "Marathon runners. triathletes and strongest man competitors find that their sexual desire greatly decreate won overdo the Elaborate, expensive toys are the order of the day exercises, the result can be 'a very fit man who's al. ways got a headache.
Sex - and the quest for it - is the more of less hidden. agenda behind most of these magazines. XL is more down-market, with a gratuitous article on 'Husbands of readers' wives' (who egg on tos which they send to softpor magazines: is this healthy?), and a consumer But the maos also offer a range of handy hints which many socialist men will appreciate: how to tie a bowtie; a step-by- step guide on how to look at women on the beach; wacky hints on how to use childhood pictures of yourself to get women into bed; consoling evidence that it is healthier to cat and sleep alone; and healthy recipes you can cook quickly - assuming you have a vast array of complex ingredients to hand.
Alter ploughing through three of these magazines for this article, this correspondent was exhausted and despondchs There was nobody in any of the pictures looking as old and knackered as me. And short of a Doctor Whoamount of exercise, calorie counting - or magazine reading - could redress the It took a couple of pints and a pork pie to restore my spirits.
COURSES AND SESSIONS INCLUDE: Art and revolution; In memory of Ernest Mandel: a six day summer school of internationalist discussion and debate SOCIALIST OUTLOOK No. 88, August 1995, Page 13